My Imperfect Faith.
March 25, 2014
I believe in miracles.
Not only do I believe in miracles, but I have witnessed them on multiple occasions. Through the years, I have seen the Lord heal multiple people in my family alone.
When I was a girl, God miraculously removed the warts that lined my leg. (Really- Warts on leg. Prayer. Warts gone.) My sister’s hearing was restored as a teen. In 1999, my husband fractured his spine and was miraculously healed– without ever having any kind of surgery or pain meds.
I believe with all my heart that Christ desires to heal all of His children. It is written in His Word.
Though I have personally experienced His healing power, I still wrestle with doubt sometimes. In fact, I am currently in one of those seasons.
My son has had the ‘itchies’ for about a month now. At first, I ignored him. (I know. Bad Mommy.) After two weeks, I decided I ought to take him to the doctor. Dr. K couldn’t give us a definitive diagnosis. Since he couldn’t rule it out, he gave us scabies cream.
Just the thought made me itch. For a week. (It’s amazing what talking about mites can do to you… Are you itching yet?) Just to be safe we applied the cream from head to toe. I washed the sheets, comforters, and pillows. Then I repeated the process a week later without success.
My son was still itching.
Since I know God wants him well, I decided I must need to put action to my faith. So, I declared my faith out loud.
“Lord, I believe your Word. I know you want Ty well. I truly believe it! I know you died to take away his sickness. I believe your Word! Thank you for healing Ty. Thank you for taking away his itchies. In Jesus’ name.”
All day, I declared his healing over and over again. Then, I took the cream and threw it in the trash – as a step of faith.
The rest of the afternoon, Ty cried and whined about how much he itched.
Finally, evening time came. I couldn’t take it anymore. I left the house to get Benadryl cream and pills (with my other children asking why I was going to the store if Ty was healed. Great example, huh?) Then, on arriving home, I did the unthinkable: I bent over the trash can in the garage and dug until I pulled the scabies cream out of the trash— just in case.
Errrr!!!! Why is my faith so imperfect?
I know you are expecting some great ending to this story. Like all of the sudden the house shook and the bumps were gone. Or I had a visitation by an angel in the night and the itchies simply disappeared.
There is no such ending. As I write this, it still hasn’t happened. And I don’t understand it… However, despite my weakness, I refuse to change my beliefs based on what I see.
I know what God’s Word says… “Who heals ALL your disease.”
At times, I am faithless. He is not.
I change. He remains the same.
I am weak. He is strong.
He is perfect. I am not.
One day, I will have perfect faith. But it won’t be until I cross to the other side of eternity. So for now, I am going to keep pressing on. I am going to keep using my imperfect faith. And entrust matters such as these to the One who is perfection.
Oh, and in case you are wondering…
I still believe God wants Ty well…
And, I still believe in miracles.
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