My Imperfect Faith.

I believe in miracles.

Not only do I believe in miracles, but I have witnessed them on multiple occasions. Through the years, I have seen the Lord heal multiple people in my family alone.

When I was a girl, God miraculously removed the warts that lined my leg. (Really- Warts on leg. Prayer. Warts gone.) My sister’s hearing was restored as a teen.  In 1999, my husband fractured his spine and was miraculously healed– without ever having any kind of surgery or pain meds.

I believe with all my heart that Christ desires to heal all of His children. It is written in His Word.

Psalm 103:3, “Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases.”  
                   

Though I have personally experienced His healing power, I still wrestle with doubt sometimes. In fact, I am currently in one of those seasons.

My son has had the ‘itchies’ for about a month now. At first, I ignored him. (I know. Bad Mommy.) After two weeks, I decided I ought to take him to the doctor. Dr. K couldn’t give us a definitive diagnosis. Since he couldn’t rule it out, he gave us scabies cream.

Ugh.

Just the thought made me itch. For a week. (It’s amazing what talking about mites can do to you… Are you itching yet?) Just to be safe we applied the cream from head to toe. I washed the sheets, comforters, and pillows. Then I repeated the process a week later without success.

My son was still itching.

Since I know God wants him well, I decided I must need to put action to my faith. So, I declared my faith out loud.

“Lord, I believe your Word. I know you want Ty well. I truly believe it! I know you died to take away his sickness. I believe your Word! Thank you for healing Ty. Thank you for taking away his itchies. In Jesus’ name.”

All day, I declared his healing over and over again. Then, I took the cream and threw it in the trash – as a step of faith.

The rest of the afternoon, Ty cried and whined about how much he itched.

Finally, evening time came. I couldn’t take it anymore. I left the house to get Benadryl cream and pills (with my other children asking why I was going to the store if Ty was healed. Great example, huh?) Then, on arriving home, I did the unthinkable: I bent over the trash can in the garage and dug until I pulled the scabies cream out of the trash— just in case.

Errrr!!!! Why is my faith so imperfect?

I know you are expecting some great ending to this story. Like all of the sudden the house shook and the bumps were gone. Or I had a visitation by an angel in the night and the itchies simply disappeared.

There is no such ending. As I write this, it still hasn’t happened. And I don’t understand it… However, despite my weakness, I refuse to change my beliefs based on what I see.

I know what God’s Word says… “Who heals ALL your disease.”

At times, I am faithless. He is not.

I change. He remains the same.

I am weak. He is strong.

He is perfect. I am not.

One day, I will have perfect faith. But it won’t be until I cross to the other side of eternity. So for now, I am going to keep pressing on. I am going to keep using my imperfect faith. And entrust matters such as these to the One who is perfection.

Oh, and in case you are wondering…

I still believe God wants Ty well…

And, I still believe in miracles.

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4 thoughts on “My Imperfect Faith.

  1. Evelyn Miracle

    Thank you for being so transparent, Amy. I agree that our imperfect faith does not change who God is or what He has willed for us. He DOES want us well. I have questioned things at time, but I am at a place in my faith that I know it’s not God withholding anything when I don’t see the answer manifested. It’s so good to be reminded. Good word.

     
    Reply
    1. admin

      I love transparency. It always helps me to know that I am not alone in my struggles. So, I assume that others feel the same. Even the “Great Faith” folks of the world doubt at times. It is a byproduct of being human. I love giving others a sneak peak at the grass on the other side of the fence… It shows we all have struggles.

       
      Reply
  2. Kimber

    Thank you for always keeping it real. None of us are perfect. Thank goodness He is. I love everyone of your posts. Keep writing 🙂

     
    Reply

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