March was a rough month.
A million questions surged through my mind. Questions I dare not ask. I know better. Some questions have no answer. This I know.
To wrestle is natural. But– I want to live above the natural. Life is more than what we can see with our two eyes. Or touch with our hands. Or feel with our hearts. This, I also know.
Each moment holds a mystery yet to be revealed. Even if it one we don’t understand. I am not to wrestle. I am to rest. Isn’t rest a place that God, our Maker, our Father has called us to? Are not His children, called to walk by faith?
I don’t want to doubt. My heart longs to earnestly trust even with the secret things.
Deuteronomy 29:29, “The LORD our God has secrets known to no one. We are not accountable for them…”
There are simply some things I will never know. Secrets that are known only by God. It is what makes me human. And Him Lord. I must come to terms with this in my mind once and for all.
Yes. In this season, I need to trust.
Rather than ask the questions, I pour my heart out to the Lord. Tears wet my pillow. My heart aches. I can’t explain it. I can only tell you, that I feel it deep within my bones.
I cry myself to sleep.
My soul yearns to see His power. To pray for others and to get results. To listen and know it is His voice I am hearing. To take the next step, and to move in the direction of His will. To see His plans unfold in this life. On this earth.
I don’t want fame or riches. I couldn’t care less about recognition. What I need to know is that I am fulfilling His purpose with this one life. I need to see lives changed because of His love. I need to know that the power of His resurrection is at work today in this life. On this earth.
In this season, I will choose to trust.
To trust His plans… To trust His ways… To trust His timing…
To trust Him.
No-one said life would be easy. We all walk through difficult seasons. Silent seasons. Seasons in the wilderness. Uncertain seasons. Seasons we wish would move faster than they do.
Rather than wrestle with why. Or how. Or when. We need to rest; To embrace every season. Even the difficult ones.
Yes. Even the difficult ones.
If you are like me, and need help in this area today, pray this prayer with me:
“Lord, Help me to embrace every season of life. The ones that make no sense to me, and the ones that do. Help me today to find rest; To trust your plan for my life; To find the greater purpose in every one of life’s trials. Help me to trust You to a new degree; To walk through the difficult seasons with grace. Help me to trust your timing. Your ways. And Your plans. When I am tempted to doubt. Or question. Or worry. Lord, I pray that your sweet Spirit would remind me who is in control; that my times are in Your hands. Remind me, Lord, not to get stuck here. Remind me…. that seasons change. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.”