Choose Your Words, Change Your World.

I have a great marriage. I am not just saying it either. In the (almost) twelve years I have been married, I have raised my voice to my husband only once. If you think that is impressive, just wait. He has me beat. In all those years, Landon has never- not even once- yelled at me. I have never called him a jerk, or anything of the like.  I would never think of calling him (or anyone for that matter) a name with an asterisk in it.  And, I do not carry one ounce of resentment towards him for anything.

There is no other person on the face of the planet that I would rather spend forever with than him. And yes, I know you are supposed to say that about your spouse. But – I truly feel that way. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing. There is no person I trust more. No person I respect more. No person that makes me laugh more. No person I love more than my husband.

So, how- after all these years- can I still say these things?

Let me start by saying this… It is not because I married the perfect man. Nor because he married the perfect woman.

We don’t live in Pleasantville. I don’t cook in a dress and heels. Our children spill milk at the dinner table and argue incessantly on some days. There is no money tree growing in our back yard… We are just like you- opinionated people with our own way of doing things. We get frustrated. We get upset. We (or at least- I) get my feelings hurt sometimes, too.

I attribute a large portion of the success we have experienced in our marriage to one important key: The effective use of life-giving words.

Proverbs 18:21 says, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

I can use my words for many things. Whether for good or bad, in time, I will reap the consequences of the words I choose to say (or those I don’t).

Daily, I choose to use my words to love my husband.  My love for him restrains me. It keeps me from yelling at him. It keeps me from calling him names. My desire to have a wonderful marriage fifty years from now reminds me to focus on the good in him. And to point it out to him –All the time.

I learned how to do this from one of the best.

My husband is a great affirmer. Through his words, he makes me feel like there is no sexier woman on the face of the earth. He tells me I am beautiful regularly.  He uses his words to encourage me to take on my dreams and to calm my fears. When I dread the monotony of daily life- cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, repeat- I hear his words of gratitude echo in my ear, and I feel appreciated.

My husband’s arms are a soft place to fall because his mouth exudes encouragement.

Sounds nice. Doesn’t it?

Well, it doesn’t have to just sound nice. It can be a reality in your life too.

Words are free. Your mouth can ooze encouragement. Your words can create life. You can change the atmosphere in your home, in your marriage, in your relationships, with your children- simply by being intentional in the words you use with them.

You can choose your words well and reap the results of bridled, life-giving tongue.

Don’t wait for someone else to start it. Today, I invite you to give it a try. Pick a person in your life. Write down ten nice things about them (or ways to encourage them, show appreciation, etc.) Then, spend the day showering them with encouragement. Repeat it day after day. And watch your relationship change before your very eyes.

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